Why Do We Care So Much About What Others Think?

January 28, 2015 by Joe Martino. 2 Comments.

               

At some point or another we’ve all worried about what someone else is going to think of something we do or say, to the point that it almost seems like a natural part of our psyche. The truth is though, we think this way because we get caught up in our heads worrying and wondering what possible scenarios may play out if we do or say something that others won’t accept.

Our mind chatter is plentiful in these cases due to years of social and cultural conditioning regarding our lifestyles, appearance, cultural norms, and so on. We are basically told what is going to be accepted and what isn’t as we progress through our younger years, ultimately creating a filter in our own minds that all of our thoughts and actions pass through prior to action.

This can also be called self-consciousness and it happens to each of us in many forms and to many degrees of intensity.  The good news is, our mind/ego is the entity within us that plays with self-consciousness, and the more our true selves or the true “I” can become aware of these tricky thoughts, the less power they have over us.

In our latest episode of ‘These Guys’ we talk about this topic in-depth and provide some thoughts on how to overcome the challenges associated with it. Check it out!

Summary of Points

• Our self-consciousness holds us back from experiencing true freedom and expressing our true selves in fear of what others will think.
• We often do things in life simply because we are looking for validation from other people to make ourselves feel good. Our search for happiness and peace then becomes out of our control and reliant on people and things outside of ourselves.
• Reflect on what you do on social media, are you doing what you do to get validation from others? How do you feel when it’s not received so well by others?
• We allow others to shape who we are based on how we think they will perceive us.
• Solution: Ask yourself why you are doing certain things before you do them when it comes to what can relate to your self-consciousness. Are you doing it for validation? Are you doing it because you’re afraid of what people will think if you did something different? Are you trying to be over-confident and forcing it? The more you reflect on what motivates your behaviour, the more you will understand yourself and will move beyond the need to do things (or not do things) because of what others think.
• Will Smith knows…